Questlove served as the DJ.
Its been a crazy week and a half, Normand said.
I think Biden woke up on Wednesday and said, Did I win?
Bruce Springsteen performs during the 18th Annual Stand Up for Heroes Benefit.Valerie Terranova/Getty Images
He seems like a nice guy, but thats a full diaper.
Im still getting texts from her.
The last one went, You up?
She really blew it, and she lost the election.
I taped the election, he said.
Dont tell me what happened … People keep saying Kamala didnt talk about enough policy proposals.
Trump went onstage and talked about Arnold Palmers dick.
Theres nothing Kamala Harris could have done.
Shed be talking about housing vouchers, and hes singing Ava Maria.
But I will say this.
We saved democracy, but just for the wrong motherfucker.
Marriage is adult education, he said.
Being a wife is an art.
Being a husband is a science.
We listen for louder than usual closing of doors and drawers.
Something is happening.'
He didnt refer to the election, but it wasnt necessary.
(Patti Scialfa was on the bill but didnt make an appearance.)
Springsteen also kept with his longstanding Stand Up for Heroes tradition of telling a joke prior to every song.
They go to the front door, and the doctor says, Hey, how are you doing?
The wife goes, Honey, how does he know your name?
Oh, hes in my bowling league.
I play with him every Tuesday.
Wife goes, Honey, how does that woman know what you drink and your name?
Oh, shes in the Ladies Auxiliary Blowing League.
We have lanes next to each other.
Finally, the strippers come out.
One of them sits on the table and goes, Dave, do you want your table dance?
The wife has had enough.
Shes in a taxi.
Dave is running his ass after her.
He gets in the taxi.
Shes giving him everything in the book.
She is holding nothing back.
The taxi driver turns around and goes, Dave, thats some bitch you picked up tonight.'
He says to the librarian, Where do you keep books on paranoia?
She goes, Shh.
Theyre behind you.'
