Deborah:I was born and raised in Florida.
Lee was born in West Virginia and then moved to Florida in middle school.
We met at Publix, our grocery retailer here.
Deborah and Lee Dorbert.Antonio Beccera
Lee:I was actually working as a Kelloggs vendor at the time.
It was a part-time job, and I would go into her store every Wednesday.
Little by little, I talked with her every time I could.
But otherwise, my second pregnancy wasnt any different than my first.
At the beginning of November, I went to see my doctor for my routine, monthly checkup.
I was 23 weeks pregnant then.
I went to that appointment with my four-year-old son.
Then things quickly changed.
The ultrasound tech started asking me questions if I was experiencing different symptoms.
Was I leaking any amniotic fluid?
Was I feeling wet at all?
I told her no to all those questions.
She told me that she could not see the babys kidneys.
She could not see the kidney on one side, she could see a partial kidney on the other.
I remember asking her, was my baby going to live?
And she said, Not without a kidney transplant.
And I remember crying.
I left that appointment with my son, and I got on the phone with Lee.
On my drive home, Im only thinking:Shes overreacting.
Its not it cant be.
That cant be what the doctor said.You know:Everythings going to be okay.
But I still tried to stay positive.
We dont know for sure yet, until we see the maternal fetal medicine doctor.
Well get a clear indication there.
Deborah:We had our appointment with the maternal fetal medicine doctor set up for a week later.
They took us back to the room, and the tech ended up doing a level II ultrasound.
I remember the whole time we were just waiting for her to say, Heres the babys kidneys!
Heres the babys kidneys!
She ended up leaving the room and getting the doctor.
But no matter what the decision was, the baby was not going to survive after birth.
He would die.He left the room so we could figure out how we wanted to proceed.
Lee: It just hits like a ton of bricks getting a confirmation from the maternal fetal medicine doctors…
It just didnt seem real.
It was right before Christmas that we got a call from [the maternal fetal medicine specialists] office.
From 23 weeks all the way to 37 weeks, I was forced to carry the baby.
Lee:I just felt angry.
Deborah:I became numb.
And I was sad.
You could have people coming up to ask you, Is this your first or second child?
And I didnt know how to answer.
I was like, Yes and no.
And it leaves me in this awkward position with these people because they dont know what to say.
I cried a lot.
Wondering: How am I gonna find the strength to give birth and watch my son die?
At the same time, I was planning his funeral before he was even born.
My parents were there, calling us, checking up on us.
I started talking to a therapist to help prepare me for birth.
And she said she could not guarantee that there would be no legal repercussions.
And, it also scared us not knowing what the legal repercussions were.
Would we get fined?
Would we go to jail?
We had a four-year-old that still needed his parents here.
He still didnt know what was going on, because we were still trying to protect him.
How do you tell a four-year-old child that their sibling is going to die?
I was 37 weeks on March 3, when I got induced.
Early in the morning, I was already starting to experience contractions.
I got to the hospital around 7:00 a.m., and they got me all set up in the room.
By that time, I was about two centimeters [dilated].
They called my doctor to give her the update.
That was just really hard.
The contractions were very painful.
I couldnt get out of bed.
It wasnt until later that evening that I decided that I needed an epidural.
They were the only ones that could come into the room besides the approved doctors.
Before I pushed him out, I felt so defeated, like I could not push anymore.
Lee:That was a very nervous energy while she was going through labor and starting to be induced.
It wasnt going to be okay.
His eyes were closed and he wasnt crying.
I just felt numb and just cried because my son was suffocating.
My husband read him a book.
That became our familys favorite; we gave it to Kaiden.
Its calledIll Love You Forever.
Lee:I remember after he was born, usually, you hear cries.
You hear the doctors talking, and the nurses working.
All I heard was silence.
The nurses and doctor were still talking to each other, and I just heard silence.
It seemed like a never-ending silence.
He laid him on my chest, and the nurses came over to listen to his heartbeat.
And by the time she was done with his exam, he had passed.
He took his first and last breath on my chest.
He was only alive for 94 minutes.
My husband went to sleep because he was tired, and it was just a lot of emotions.
She put him in the cuddle cot next to me, because I just could not sleep.
I just went through labor.
My milk supply was coming in, and I was just exhausted.
It was just too hard to bear.
That was the last time I saw him before he got cremated.
I got discharged the next morning, because my doctor wanted me to go home to heal.
It was going to be the best place for me to start recovering.
The next few weeks were just excruciating.
I was recovering from the birth, and postpartum.
It was hard to dry up my milk supply because there wasnt anything I could do.
My doctor recommended frozen cabbage leaves.
I was healing from postpartum, my hormones are all over the place.
Lee:They were hard [weeks].
A lot of days of not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to do anything.
For the both of us, I think we had to force ourselves to stay busy.
Always had to find little projects for us to do to keep our minds off of it.
Every day was a different feeling, different emotion to have to fight with.
Deborah:Two weeks later, we finally had his funeral.
We did just a little memorial ceremony.
And there were a lot of bills left over that insurance didnt cover.
Obviously I eventually needed to see a psychologist, and my son needed to see a psychologist.
Obviously insurance doesnt cover psychology visits.
All of the bills afterwards started to pile up medical bills and then the funeral bills as well.
Lee:It was close to $40,000.
And he just cried.
It took Kaiden a while to really understand it, and, honestly, he was sad.
Is he up there amongst the stars?
I want to blow out a candle for my brother.
The restaurant didnt have one, so we went to Publix and got a cake and a candle.
There are days where hes fine kids are resilient when it comes to this.
I know I probably would not survive if I had to go through this again.
Our sons in a good school, and school is his safe place.
Hes happy there, and thats whats important.
He is our saving grace.
Without Kaiden, I dont know where we would be.
To this day, we are still navigating it all, and it is hard.
