You did it,Golden Globes.
You made it to 2025.
No online grid would even air it anymore.
Nikki Glaser during the 82nd Annual Golden GlobesRich Polk/GG2025/Penske Media
But everybody loves a comeback story, right?
And lo and behold, the Globes are back to officially kick off awards season.
Give it up to new hostNikki Glaser, who made the night a blast.
She set the tone right from the start, calling the event Ozempics biggest night!
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler took over for their peerless four-year run.
Darling Nikki came with a monologue full of barbs like two-time Holocaust survivor Adrien Brody.
She pointed out thatWicked, Queer,andNightbitchare not just words Ben Affleck yells when after he orgasms.
She calledChallengersmore sexually charged than Diddys credit card.
The nearest she came to a Ricky/Tina/Amy roast was telling Keith Urban, Keep strumming, you kooky koala.
But Glaser was even funnier in her mid-show recap.
Everywhere you look, theres a Fanning!
God, creator of the universe, zero mentions.
And Mario Lopez, host ofAccess Hollywood,one.
(That Mario shoutout came from Kieran, again the life of the party.)
Glaser also saluted all the actresses making comebacks this year.
If youre a woman over 50 in a lead role, they call it a comeback, Glaser said.
If youre a guy over 50 in a lead role, congratulations!
Youre about to play Sydney Sweeneys boyfriend.
But The Rock, a pro as always, kept his game face on and didnt take the bait.
Vin was on hand to present the bizarre new prize for Cinematic and Box Office Achievement, i.e.
the Thats What The Moneys For award.
(It went toWicked.)
Colin ended it with the most heartfelt tribute to craft service in award-show history.
Carolina, God bless you, you kept the whole crew going!
Well, at least she won our hearts.
There were plenty of glitches this is the Golden Globes, after all.
The bubble captions under the stars faces gave Fun FactsTM that looked really silly and dated, givingPop-Up Videoenergy.
It just felt small-time and chintzy.
But seriously, what the hell was up with the voiceover guy?
(No waaaay!)
Put a sock in this dudes mouth next year,puh-lease.
Elton Johnhad the nights great did he say that?
Elton laughed at his own joke so joyfully, it was a pleasure to behold.
Ariana DeBose and Ke Huy Quan just sounded lost, British accent and all.
Cheer up, Timmy, because youre going to clean up big at the Oscars.
Congratulations in advance, Mr. Timothee Man.
Shogun,The Brutalist,andEmilia Perezwere all big winners of the night.
But as Glaser explained, The point of making art is not winning an award.
Somehow, that gets the spirit of the Golden Globes exactly right.
See you next year, Nikki.
