It was physically grueling and emotionally draining.
I dont even know if they were their real houses.
I was like, This feels so invasive, but also Im obsessed with it.
“I was 21 and broke and trying to quell my doubts,” says Alyah Chanelle Scott of her first job out of college.Tina Thorpe/MAX
It was just very dreamy.
It all felt so outside of ourselves.
Scott had already accomplished more than most in a cutthroat and fickle industry.
Ive grown up so much in the last two years.
Its the most comfortable and confident Ive ever felt.
Its actually my favorite season of the show weve done so far.
I auditioned when I was 22.
Its a mismatched crew, one first strung together by random assignment.
There is also that matter of the sex.
Sex on TV is [often] super-stylized,Euphoria-esque, so hot and steamy and sexy and great.
But sometimes in real life, you feel like Am I doing it wrong?
Am I fucking up the way Im approaching sex?
(Dont worry, there are still plenty of early-morning walks of shame its called range.)
For Scott, its been a storyline shes been desperate to investigate.
Its a conversation thats had about you no matter what you do as a Black actor, Scott says.
Which is what I feel like happened to me when I went to college.
As a kid, she dreamed of being a performer.
Thats the fate of a middle child, she says.
My family says that I came out of the womb an attention whore.
In their minds, I was choosing to live a life of auditioning and being unemployed.
Her sophomore year, Scott became close friends with Creel, who was at Michigan developing a one-night-only project.
We all should strive to exist in the world the way Gavin did.
Its mind-blowing and inspiring and equally soul-crushing.
But also, Gavin will always be here.
He will always be so present and crucial to what it means to work in theater.
I used to have so much crippling anxiety around people coming up to talk to me.
Now, Im like, Who are you?
Should we go get coffee?
you might just say hi.
And I can be that.
