Here is her story:
This year was the hardest year ever.
One year ago, I was at the Nova festival with my family.
We were a group of seven traveling together.
The site of the Supernova music Festival in the Negev desert in southern Israel, on October 10, 2023.ACK GUEZ/AFP/Getty Images
Only three of us returned home.
I was visiting from Los Angeles.
My cousin, Omri Sasi, was a producer of the festival.
He helped put it together and was supposed to perform the morning of the attack.
I was very excited and looking forward to my first trance party with my family.
We arrived at like 2:30 a.m. and we danced until sunrise.
The energy on the dance floor was something else.
Everyone was so full of light.
It felt like everybody knew each other, like one big family.
We were there until 2 p.m. in complete shock.
Of the 40 of us who entered the shelter, only 11 of us survived.
We survived by hiding under dead bodies to protect ourselves from the explosive devices thrown in.
It was like a video game, literally, trying to avoid the explosions.
I was in complete survival mode.
I was trying to get help, trying to make videos.
I dont know how I had the power or strength, but Im grateful I had the power.
If I didnt have the videos, I dont think people would have understood.
I thought the most difficult day would be Oct. 7, but it continued.
I feel like Oct. 7 is every day now.
Its part of my life.
Its part of me, every day.
Im used to it.
I returned to Los Angeles.
Im alone there in terms of not being with other survivors.
I was in L.A., alone.
I kind of healed on my own without having any community of the Nova survivors.
I wanted to return to Israel to visit for the memorials and feel that connection with the community.
I arrived three weeks ago and did a lot of therapy treatments.
The two other survivors in my group of seven were my two cousins.
The three of us went back to Reim to the bomb shelter where I survived.
We decided to go back to get some closure and take a stab at move on from this year.
It was my first time going back.
It was really hard for me, but I didnt cry.
I felt very numb.
When we went home that day, I felt very upset with myself that I didnt cry.
Like, whats going on with me?
When they did that, I could not stop crying.
It was like an incredible release.
I had been holding on for so long, and it felt so healing.
I had been holding in my tears for so long.
It was so nice to cry and let it go.
I had been so numb and frozen inside.
Its important to move through the trauma, rather than keeping it in.
I want to say that music has been a big part of my healing.
I dont know what I would have done over the last year if not for music.
I was in major investigation mode looking for songs I could relate to.
I found a song that felt like every word was written for me in that moment.
ItsSuperhuman by Colleen DAgostino and BlackGummy.
Its an EDM song thats actually upbeat.
Its talking about survival and [having] adrenaline while youre fighting for your life.
I dont want there to be hatred in the world.
Hatred doesnt get you anywhere in life.
It just gives you PTSD and trauma.
It was a very small event.
Its still not easy.
There are days I feel weak.
I always remind myself that tomorrow is a new day.
This too shall pass.
Its all about perspective, and my perspective is so much different.
Thats whats been keeping me strong.
And every time I meet a new survivor, I feel stronger.
I feel like theres an invisible string connecting us.
We all understand each other.
Its nice to feel that.
