So I just… wait, is Ethan Hawke behind me?
Marielle Heller has just lost her train of thought.
Which she says is just as well.
Amy Adams and friends in ‘Nightbitch.‘Searchlight Pictures
Then she remembers: Right.
Were in the woods of northwestern Connecticut.
And I am fucking losing my mind.
I just felt like, Oh, my God, I have to do this,’ Heller recalls.
It was saying all the things that I didnt know we were allowed to say.
For some, watching Adams Mother on the verge of a nervous breakdown may trigger PTSD.
And thats before the star ofEnchantedbegins barking and digging holes in her front lawn on all fours.
I was a camp counselor.
I was the auntie to a lot of my friends who had kids early on.
So I thought I was, like, the most prepared for motherhood out of anybody.
That, and the monotony of it.
Which was ridiculous, since there was no indication that I needed to hide it.
Everyone was incredibly supportive.
(She remembers being atDiarys Sundance premiere and nursing her son backstage.)
By the time Heller made her follow-up, the Oscar-nominatedCan You Ever Forgive Me?
The ethos that you have to suffer its the Hollywood way, she says.
It helped a lot, considering where I needed to go with this.
She made what we were doing feel transgressive but made me feel safe enough to be vulnerable.
And you put added pressure on yourself to be all things to all people.
Thats a common experience for new moms.
And Mari inherently understood that.
Its apersonalmovie for her.
I kept telling Amy, embrace your animalistic side, Heller says.
Trust your gut instincts.
Its not a coincidence that Mother becomes a more present mother when she taps into her inner animal.
Which doesnt mean the director didnt have the occasional issue with the four-legged cast members.
They say you should never work with kids or animals, andNightbitchis a movie that relies heavily on both.
The twins were amazing!
Heller exclaims, referring to Arleigh and Emmett Snowden, who took turns playing Mothers three-year-old son.
The dogs were a challenge.
Because it was like six or seven trainers hiding in bushes, all issuing commands at once: Lucy!
Lucy, over here!
For Halloween, the entire camera department all dressed as the dogs.
They even took on their individual characteristics for the day.
A joke about men acting like dogs leads to talk of the Husband character, played by Scoot McNairy.
Heller was initially miffed by the criticisms.
Today, however, shes laughing about them.
This is just mean,’ Heller says.
But hehasasked how many scoops before!
No, this isnt what were supposed to talk about.
I have this thing where I like it when men grow and change, Heller says.
I like it when couples earn the chance to stay together.
I mean, thats how couples remain couples.
Thats how my husband and I have stayed together for as long as we have.
No one talks about these things, unless its just you and your friends talking among yourselves.
When I read Rachels book, I was so struck about how it captured what we were talking about.
But I wanted to widen the conversation.
Heller nods at some fellow mom-types sitting nearby, who nod back.
