After a season-long feud brewing between Brynn Whitfield and Ubah Hassan, tensions boiled over.
At first it was cringey seeing myself, but it felt accurate.
But I felt pretty comfortable going into the second season.
Photo: Sydney Marie
This season, you opened up more about your fertility journey.
How did it feel to share that publicly?It felt natural, because its what Im going through.
I can financially, physically do it.
Maybe one can come before the other.
This is where Im really at and this is what Im going through.
It was really cathartic.
So this season, I thought sharing was going to help me feel better.
I go through phases.
It hurts and is frustrating because people dont know the full story.
Youre only seeing 42 minutes of something thats edited.
Its so tempting to explain yourself and provide more context because theyre making a very serious judgment about you.
Why did this cut deep for you?I have worked so hard my entire life.
Thats just crazy to me and offensive.
As a woman, I think we can do better than that.
I used my brain, I didnt have to do anything else.
Women dont have to lie, cheat, steal, or fuck to get to the top.
as Im rambling on.
Just because you say things doesnt necessarily mean people hear them.
I know what I said and I know that I did say it.
I went through a laundry list of things [in that conversation].
I was hysterical, and I was like, Why does this keep happening to me?
Why do bad things happen to me?
I remember I texted my brother afterwards.
At that point, I hadnt even told any of the other girls.
I dont want to talk about it at that time.
If I get that hurt, Ill just go into defense mode, and my walls go up immediately.
I just wasnt open to it at the time.
Whats your response to that?That was shocking.
Maybe dont use those words to describe the situation.
I just feel like I wasnt shown much [respect].
These are difficult, serious things were talking about.
Thats how it felt for me the whole season, like I was always being attacked.
I would go into filming a lot of the time and I would feel dread and despair.
I was just like, every single thing is going to turn into something.
It was weird energy from the very first scene.
I have text messages from everyone saying, Oh my God, hi.
Cant wait to see you, and then it was a 180.
I was like, Oh, OK, itsAssassins Creednow and everyones geared up.
Why do you think that 180 happened?I truly dont know.
I look back, Ive scanned every text, Ive checked every conversation, and I have no idea.
Then I become avoidant and I just shut down.
You left Puerto Rico earlier than the rest of the cast after the incident with Ubah.
Then Ubah and Jessel went to a hotel.
This feels like theJerry Springershow.
This has gone too far.
I dont understand why Im not being met with grace.
So I requested to leave.
I was so irritated when I saw what they were saying about me because theyre like,Shes psycho.
She looks like shes fine and she left.
No, I was mortified.
I dont feel comfortable anymore, and I feel like everyones looking at me differently.
I requested to leave.
I requested to be put on the first flight out.
It was like, suck it up and you move on.
If I even dip my toe in the ocean of my despair, I will get sucked in.
I process things later when I get to a safe place and remove myself from a situation.
That would have felt really nice, I think, to have that.
I didnt get that in Puerto Rico.
I certainly didnt get it afterwards.
More so, its been like Im the bad guy.
No pain, no gain.
After the reunion I personally felt like are we in a position where everything is fixed and perfect?
No, not remotely.
But at least were now, maybe hopefully at step one.
Im always cool with Jenna [Lyons] and Raquel [Chevremont].
Erin [Lichy] feels like a sister.
I think Sai [De Silva] and I still have stuff to work on.
I miss my friendship with Sai a lot.
With Ubah, I think whats done is done.
Ubahs a great person.
She has a heart of gold.
But it takes time to repair.
Do you have any plans to leaveRHONY?No.
I mean, youre never guaranteed.
Even franchises that have been around for 17 years, its the same song and dance.
But I feel like with this show, its not our show or my show.
Its a little bit of the women who came before us and whoever comes after us.
Theres been some criticism about how viewers arent loving the reboot, with viewership actually down this season.
Have you seen those criticisms?
We were up against making a show that was beloved and that people werent ready to let go of.
Its massive shoes to fill and I dont know if we ever will, honestly.
I dont know if we need to.
I think its just different shoes in the same closet.
I love the oldRHONY, I still watch it.
You cant recreate that.
It was a moment in time.
That was the zeitgeist at the time, the world was a different place.
I just say to people, give it a chance and let it grow on you.
