Many of us have had a friend who was oblivious.
Of course, some of us have occasionallybeenthat delightfully clueless person.
Put more simply, people want to do something good on our behalf, but were missing it.
Drobot Dean - adobe.stock.com
So, how do we learn to tune into the kind offers others are making?
Here are three suggested places to begin.
This is a mandated part of the experience and holds no hidden message.
But consider when a colleague says, The initiative you mentioned in the meeting sounds smart.
Ive got some background in that area.
Let me know if you ever want to chat about it.
What if you didnt, though?
No one has to say nice things.
Speaking with kindness is always voluntary.
So, what if you responded, Really appreciate it.
Id love your help.
Can I buy us coffee and learn from you about that?
From experience, I can tell you that cup of coffee can lead to breakthrough success.
It will help your career.
Now is the right time.
I will teach you.).
Instead, these offers are usually far more subtle:
We go sailing occasionally.
The Rolling Stone Culture Councilis an invitation-only community for Influencers, Innovators and Creatives.Do I qualify?
Or Do I recall that you enjoy the occasional cigar?
Im known to host cigar nights from time to time.
In each case, there is quite likely an implicit invitation in these statements and questions.
We are being offered entrance to a new pastime, pursuit or community.
But we must notice that this might be more than idle conversation.
On that basis, I encourage you to join me for a new experience that will benefit you.
But, often, that sentiment is expressed as something like, Im a little sore from playing squash.
Most situations are simply not set up to support that degree of frank discourse.
Thats why one of the strongest forms of emphasis is simple repetition.
In other words, when people really care about something, they often say it more than once.
Many people who want to help are sensitive to not forcing help or guidance onto others.
And so, offers of help often come at oblique angles.
Further, the offers are shaded to be ignorable so that the recipient can politely refuse.
(This, in a social sense, protects the dignity of both parties.)
Or the accomplished musician who regularly asks how your goal of learning the guitar is going.
Or the leader at work who has mentioned multiple times that they admire your presentation skills.
What would it mean for you to say yes to that invitation?
Rather, they may be aware that rejection is painful and being passive is easy.
And most of us can relate to those sentiments.
What if were wrong?
What if we say, Sailing sounds fun!
